It’s funny in my life a lot of people are either surprised by my faith or embrace it. I have always had god in my life. I attended religious classes as a young girl, and then when I turned into a rebellious teenager….. I told my parents there was no way I was going to drive myself to CCD and I quit. At the age of 22 having just posed for Playboy, I Was living the Hollywood dream and going clubbing at Hollywood clubs at night, I would often go to church by myself on Sundays. I decided then I wanted to be confirmed Catholic. I met Adam and I would go to church by myself when I was in the cities where he played. I keep bringing up (by myself) because a lot of times people like to go to church with other people especially if you don’t know anyone in the state you live. I would even find myself trying to find a church if I was traveling for work with Playboy in a city I did not know. God was always guiding me. Yes I took a few wrong turns. I have looked death in the eyes not once but quite a few times in my life. Without God I may not be here! It was my faith and family that kept me right when things went wrong…. I saw my high school sweetheart OD. Yes he came out of it, but he was never the same, (God by my side) I was with an abusive boyfriend I could not leave thoughts ran through mind. He was arrested and sent to prison. (God by my side) I was on a flight from Chicago back to LA. The captain came on the airplane speakers, we have dumped fuel, contemplated about landing at an Air Force base, and then we braced ourself for an emergency foam landing. I thought about my fiery death for almost an hour (God by my side) then the real turning point! I hate drugs I actually hate them so bad that I had all 3 of my children with no epidural & pain meds. I feel as a women if you can go natural then you should try to experience it. I know things happen and that’s ok, it’s not for everyone. But the short of the story is, my husband was leaving town, and my Mother was arriving. It was a long day for everyone and it was going to be a long night, coming all the way from the East Coast for my Mother . I woke with normal labor pains. But I felt like I still had time. I have a really high pain tolerance and really tried to push my time at home. I felt like it was just to soon to go to the hospital…. I ended up giving birth at home thankfully my mom was there. The beauty of the story is my son was born in the caul only 1 in 100,000 babies are born that way. His umbilical cord broke during his birth, my mom was able to break open the amniotic sac. (Caul) My Mother hands me this perfect beautiful baby we did not even have to aspirate his nose etc. I noticed when my mom handed him to me that his umbilical cord was cut ( no one cut it) which saved my life, because he could have dragged the placenta out with such a spontaneous birth. I love my family and life. I love everything about this world. But that day I felt something come over me it was a peace. I can’t explain, and it’s hard for me to find peace. I run a pretty tight ship. I’m pretty tense about a lot of things. I worry a lot. For the first time I felt this overwhelming peace. A rush of thoughts ran through my mind I don’t want to die or loose this baby. But I felt like whatever happens…… happens and I was OK with it ,which is a weird feeling. I felt God all around us that day. I can honestly say I am no longer afraid to die, I feel like that is probably the peace you feel before you go on to eternity. A few humorous things about this, about five good looking firemen come to my rescue, they charged us for two in the ambulance even though he was a newborn baby, I delivered the placenta at the hospital. So unfortunately his birth certificate says he was born at a hospital it doesn’t say born at home LOL . I’m Thankful for God and that my Mother was there that day it was a perfect birth, but so much could have gone wrong. But God again made it so right. And God was by my side. And I felt him that day and thanked him.
“When you look death in the eye and blinks first, nothing seems impossible.”
